whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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