Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
