Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
