We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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