not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
