i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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