Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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