It's Friday. Sex?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
