who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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