when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
