That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize