i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
