Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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