I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
