mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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