Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I forgot wine drunk hurts
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
