Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
