I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
