If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
