I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just invented taco cereal.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
