After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
