she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
