20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
FUCK WHALES
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
