Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
