I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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