do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You smell like stripper and shame
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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