Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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