as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
