My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
