I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
