You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
