I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
