So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
