So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
