They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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