There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
