guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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