based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Sext me about skeletons
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
