It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
