Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
