Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize