dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
