I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The air was thick with penises
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
