That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
