just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
