Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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