I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
