i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got inside last night via doggy door
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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