So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
