So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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