We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
