my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
pop tarts are not kleenex
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
you inspire me to be a worse person
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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