you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize