Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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