Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
