i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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