the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
