Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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