Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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