how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
my liver is dry heaving
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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