Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
